What is the best thing a parent could want?
For their son to be a United States Marine? A policeman? A pastor?
For their daughter to be a baker? A special agent? A ministry leader?
The other night as I was listening to my kids share what they were feeling they might want to do, a thought and conviction entered my heart: what they do is not as important to me as that they hear the voice of the Lord.
They could go anywhere and do anything. As long as it was the Lord directing their steps. As long as it was Him they were listening to. Because His voice would be life to their bones, light to their eyes, joy to their heart.
In a day “when everyone did what was right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25), there lived a boy named Samuel. And in those days the “word of the Lord was rare” (1 Samuel 3:1). If something is rare or scarce, we can also say it is precious. The word of the Lord was precious in those days. But precious to whom?
If the voice of God is precious, then, then to hear the voice of the Lord is a most precious gift.
Now the boy Samuel did not yet know the Lord, he did not yet recognize His voice (1 Samuel 3:7). In order for Samuel to learn to perceive God’s voice, he would need two things: a God willing to speak to him and a “parent” (a teacher, a mentor) who hears/sees “the Lord who speaks”. God was willing to speak. But who would teach Samuel to hear?
Samuel was being trained to “minister to the Lord” under the eye and by the hand of Eli, the high priest. One night, God calls out to Samuel, but Samuel thought it was Eli.
Like Samuel, our children may hear the voice of the Lord long before they recognize Him. Yes, God is active in their lives in a multitude of ways long before they understand and know it. That’s our job as parents (and grandparents, aunts, uncles, mentors, pastors, teachers). To help them perceive and discern the voice of the Lord and how to respond.
This is what Eli did. He perceived what was happening and taught Samuel what to do. And once he did, everything changed. Samuel’s life, Eli’s life, Israel’s life. All because a boy began to learn to hear the voice of the Lord.
There is nothing that has brought me greater joy than watching my children go from learning to listening to loving the voice of the Lord. It has occurred at different times and in different ways for each. But when it did, God helped (and continues to help) Alissa and I as their parents to help them recognize His voice.
What my children do is not as important to me as that they hear the voice of the Lord.
What can we do as parents to help train and prepare our children to perceive and hear the voice of the Lord?
- Model the listening life. To hear the voice of the Lord is to obey the voice of the Lord. Are we as husband and wife, father and mother, walking in obedience to the Lord? Do we wait on and perceive the voice of the Lord for ourselves? Do our children find us praying? Hear us singing? See us worshipping? Can they tell we have a relationship with the Lord?
- Mold in the light. It would be difficult to mold a clay pot or paint a portrait in the dark. We must, therefore, parent in the light. To the best of our ability ensure that nothing’s done in secret, that everything’s done in the open. Talk about everything. Know their friends. If there’s a growing relationship with a boy or a girl, have them over. Get to know them. Listen to your children’s music. Watch their favorite shows. Play their video games. Hearing the voice of the Lord is about being in relationship with the Lord. About walking in the light.
- Be willing to sacrifice. The moment your children start to hear the voice of the Lord for themselves and He begins to lead them, it will cost you as a parent. Time. Money. Energy. Be prepared to pay the cost. When God speaks to your children, there’s a season when you’re called upon to support what God is doing in their lives.
- Encourage them in their gifts. Go with the flow, not against it. It’s not your dreams and desires you should be putting on your children. It’s God’s you should be discerning. He has determined the boundaries of their dwelling. Not only where they are born and where they will live, but also what their interests, skills, gifts will be. When you encourage them to live within God’s boundaries and alongside His desires, you set them up for success: to hear the voice of the Lord most clearly.
- Be willing to be left out of the conversation at some point. That’s the point! For THEM to hear the voice of the Lord. For a season of life, God will speak to you and and through you as the parent. But sooner or later the goal is for them to develop and have their own relationship with God. This means in time God will speak to them without speaking to you.
- Pray for them always, not only in word but in action. Remember 1 Peter 3:7. The way a husband treats his wife affects his prayers for his wife. It affects the listening relationship. So it is with your children. Live in an “understanding way” with them. Know their needs and what they need from you. Don’t pray for them and then exasperate them or ignore them. Let your words and actions line up and the heavens will be open to your prayers.
- Always remember: God’s favor lasts for a lifetime (Psalm 30:5). THEIR lifetime. God wants to follow them with goodness and mercy all the days of their life. God wants to speak to them.